What to Expect...Expect "the Book" Won't Even come close... Round 2 (ding)

I have to be honest, I was going to do everything the "right" way, followed "the book" the best way I could... and caught a lot of slack for it too!  I was a 22 year old mother who was going to raise my baby to be the healthiest, smartest, most mild mannered person in the world, after all it is all how you raise them, isn't it? Yep. I forgot the part where my beautiful bundle of cuteness was, herself, an individual.  Well, somewhere along the way I realized I was her mother, I had the instincts, the natrual programing, to raise her, to provide for her, love her, and keep her safe and healthy. 

Well, I mentioned in my first entry, my daughter was perfect and she was an only child with brother's, that seemed perfect, the best of both worlds...yep I was satisfied with my sweet sweet girl... BUT GOD had other ideas... 2002: We lived in Sheridan, WY at the time, our foreman, Will, (we owned a construction company) lived in our basement. (Will, will also be known as "Uncle" throughout this blog)  Anyhow, allow me to digress, Dan, Will, Cheyla and I were eating out one night, when my husband dropped a bombshell... "I think we should have a son." I said, "Um, excuse me but, A. you have two sons, and B. Hull-ooo, we decided Cheyla had it perfect, the best of both worlds, remember?" To which my, VERY much out of character husband replied, "I just really think we should have a son together." I was dumbfounded, weirded out, in shock... he couldn't possibly be serious.  He even had me check our insurance to make sure maternity was covered.  I figured it would pass, he would forget about it and we would continue living our lives as normal.

Now, I must go back to the last sentance of my prior blog.  I had mentioned that at the moment of Cheyla's birth, upon laying eyes on her for the first time, I "stumbled upon God".  After that moment I had a very long process of comming into my walk, and my acceptance of the Lord as my Savior.  At the time Dan dropped this "let's have a son" thing in my lap, I was probably at a crawl, rather than a walk with the Lord, but I think I was on my way to standing on two feet, instead of all fours.  So, when I first heard God I was scared, nervous, thought I was nuts... "You will have a son", this conversation started. "No. I am happy, Cheyla will have it perfect, remember, an only child with brothers." (In the back of my mind I am wondering if perhaps I am arguing with my self, but was wondering why my heart was about to leap out of my chest and my palms were sweating, I had a "fight or flight" feeling but no ability to run, my knees were feeling weak, and I was almost dizzy) "You will have a son." I stood my ground for a while, but just like Jacob when he wrestled with God,  I never stood a chance and conceded.  You know as I write this my heart is racing again, I feel the adrenaline starting to build up with in me, that was the first time I know I heard God. 

Surely, there would be no morning sickness this time, I had a girl last time, and I knew she was girl because no boy could be so hormonal as to make me that sick... Yeah, sure.  As I said, remember Jacob had a battle wound from wresteling with the Lord... No book in the history of the world could prepare me for the sickness I would go through, the migraines and worse...

I think I called for medication before my first doctor appointment, I was so sick.  I remember laying on the couch, Cheyla had her toys, books, puzzles (my little genious, could do those 25 piece puzzles with out the frame and she was barley 2!) we would watch play house Disney, Nick Jr. and of course, "A Baby Story".  I couldn't do anything without getting sick, and then the migraines started (I don't remember reading about that in "the book") Migraines like none I had ever experienced before, so bad that on two or three different occasions, while getting sick the force of it all created this pressure that was so intense and so painful, all I could see was black and "stars", I thought my eye was going to blow out of my head. I honestly thought I was having an aneurism.  I remember praying, "God, You can't let me die like this, You can't let my 2 year old find me drown in the toilet...pleas God help me." He gave me the strength to find my way (I still couldn't see anything very well, it was like looking through a pin hole on a piece of black construction paper) I needed medication, I just couldn't play it "safe" anymore...I felt that I was a failure, I kept trying to talk my self out of it, one part of me would argue, "medication could be harmful to the baby", the other part would come back with "the baby's mother passing out from pain, would be harmful to the baby" .  This is when the vicious cycle of migraine meds began, as well as the leading up to what will be forever ingrained as the week of the CAT scans, and the phone call that I will never be able to forget...

What to Expect...Expect "the book" won't even come close! Round 1 (ding)

When I first learned I was pregnant with Cheyla, I still worked split shifts as a Hostess at (remember, these were my "B.C." days) a local sports bar.  I felt amazing, if I like to run I could have run a marathon...and that is exactly what I told people when they would ask "how are you feeling? Are you tired? Any morning sickness?" That is until I got the "flu", the "flu" never went away and I had to quit my job. (nobody wants to see their hostess running in and out of the bathroom the whole time they are trying to eat) I was reading "What to Expect When You are Expecting" and of course it did discuss varying degrees of morning sickness, from a little nausea in the mornings, to all day sickness such as myself...I tried everythingthat it suggested, the saltines before getting out of bed, the Unisom and B-6 before bed, you name it I tried it.., and nothing worked. Oh, and in the midst of all day and night face time with my porcelain  friend, I developed sciadic pain that wouldn't allow my brain and my legs to communicate...I would litterally crawl or drag myself along the floor to the bathroom, because I simply couldn't make my legs work.  I will admit, it was funny, and there were times I almost peed my self laughing, crying in pain, but laughing histatically.  Nothing like a good ol' scadic problem to make you appreciate your legs and realize how much we take for granted our body's ability to just work, with out us thinking about it.  Of course "the book" mentioned scadic pain, and not sit a certain way, sleep with a pillow between your legs and you can control it... Yeah, o.k....sure...

As my morning sickness began to deminsh and the light was at the end of the tunnel, I could go grocery shopping without worrying about wear the closest bathroom was, I could EAT! YES, finally! And the the heartburn started, again, still reading my book...again I tried all the eating positions, stayed away from certain foods, blah, blah, blah "the book" said to try this... Fooey, so not only was I blessed with heartburn, I for the first time in my 21 years experienced acid reflux, and quickly became reaquainted with a friend not soon enough forgoted...you guessed it, my friend, my porcelain  hero...

During the last month and a half of my pregnacy, I ate propped up on the couch with pillows keeping me at just the right position. Aside from that all was a pretty easy pregnacy.  I ended up dialating a centimeter a week for about five weeks, when my doctor graciously informed me that I could go to the hospital, they would break my water and that he fully expected labor to kick into high gear from there.  Again, this wasn't in "the book". So I checked into the hospital (late, it was payday, I had to get our employees checks to them, get my mom a change of clothes and her camereas...), around 3:30 in the afternoon on Friday the 17th of November 2000, the doctor broke my water and anticipated a 7 to 12 hour labor and 1 to 3 hours of pushing time. My husband (we were now married) was still on his way home from picking up a load 100 miles east of where I was (driving truck during the slow construction season was his second job),  and by now my mom was there as well as my sister (who received the phone call telling her to walk over to the hospital after school, not a far walk, litterally next door...).    Well the doctor was right, I went from irritating slightly painful "Braxton Hicks" to FULL BLOWN labor within minutes of them breaking my water, no need for drugs to get things started!  I wimped out, but Dan wasn't there yet, and I did not want the epideral until he got there, so I got Stadol, or something like it (whatever was more expensive I presume, isn't that how hospitals work?).

So there I was in labor, in PAIN and stoned out of my mind, watching the Simpson's of all things!  I couldn't take it, they lied to me..take the edge off, BAH! The edge was oh, so very present, and now I was stoned in labor...great! 

Finally my mom convinced to go all in, so they called for the epideral, Dan arrived maybe three minutes before my knight in scrubs came walking into my life with his shinning needle! (This was about 5:30 give or take)

By 6:00 I was pushing and at 6:33, my life was changed forever. (pushing while numb from the waist down is an interesting thing...I kept asking if I was actually pushing or just holding my breath and making a funny face!)  Not only was I head over heals in love with this little 6 lb 4 oz 19 inch long bundle of wrinkles bloody skin covered in "cheese", but for the first time in a somewhat of an agnostic life, I stumbled upon God.

Why B_y the Book?

Hello, and welcome! I have long wanted to share with the world my passion for writing, along with stories from my crazy life as a wife, mother of six (and two dogs), homeschooling and at one time business owner.

Please allow me to introduce you to my family, and then I will explain what "B_y the Book" means...exactly, sort of. (You will also be introduced to my, um, sacrcastic nature.) First we have my husband, Dan. We met in our previous "B.C." lives, but dispite the odds, we have been married for nine years. When I married Dan in November of 2000, I gained an insta family, and was now a step mother to Troy, who was 11 at the time, and Scott who was 9. Also in November of 2000 came our beautiful Cheyla , who was, well a part of that "B.C." stuff, an unexpected surprise, but very much loved. There you have it...my idea of a "perfect family" how awesome for my daughter to have to brothers, yet for 75% of the year she would be an only child. (Her brothers lived in a different state, we only had summers and holidays) As my Pastor likes to say: "But God", yep God had other ideas and my husband of all people thought it we be great if we had a son together, That brings us to Michael who joined our family in September of 2003. Well the morning sickness and migraines were even worse with Michael than Cheyla, so I was done, no more babies for me...you guessed it...But God...So in June of 2006 we welcomed our un-named until he was 12 hours old baby, Joshua. Again, morning sickness was enough to make me never want to consider being pregnant again, and again, God intervened and in Novemeber of 2008 we welcomed #6, little Rachael Anne! Oh, and before I forget we have a 2 1/2 year old pug named Will (we will get to the story behind his name at another time) as well as a 2 1/2 year old yellow lab named Brandy.

Ok...so let's get to this title, shall we...My sister will get part of the credit for this one (you will meet her in a future entry), she babysits for a first time "book mom", you know the mom that consults "the book" and the internet before doing anything and pretty much follows "the book" to the letter, as to not make any parenting mistakes. Yep, the mom who buys the "What to Expect When..." series, from "Your Expecting" through "You Child is in College and..." Well, with the brood I have, I also know that a book is well, a book, and your child is very much and individual. So, while in the shower it hit me... I have always wanted to write a book why not this one "B_y(a "u" will go above the "_" which won't actully be there) the Book" A book about what parenting by the book..literally, won't be able to tell you. I will dig deep into the parenting archives, maybe even borrow stories from friends and family, that a book can not possibly prepare you for. Like I said, each kid is an individual, and even the most mild mannered, well behaved child, will come with his or her own "how in the world did that happen?" moment. You know what I mean,things like getting their head stuck in the stair railing.

I hope this blog (and future book : ) will bring you smiles and laughter. I will also invite you to share some of your parenting experiences, that couldn't be conceived by any author...except of course the child or children that were involved.

Welcome to my world!